No life without you
I literally haven't imagined a life without you for as long as I can remember my time with you. I know that I've framed my mind and hear to revolve around the idea that you are the only person for me and it's a nightmare to think anything else. I sat at our sunset spot 3 times last week. I've woken up from nightmares twice this weekend involving you no longer being part of me. And it's all I can think about.
Like I've said before you are someone to me that no one could ever replace. There was never any possibility of us just starting as friends because very early on I felt something with you I never have. Even from the beggining I was so afraid of losing you thinking you were the love of my life. And because I felt that way that is why you are the only person I could ever go through something like this. Youre the only person Id be willing to grow through all this pain and change with. You are the only person that I really believe will grow with me. You are the only person I'm willing to struggle with because ultimately I trust that you love me. We have portions of ourselves that is healing from the past yet this trust deep down that you truly love me is what makes me feel like you're my person.
I don't want to live life without you. It's weird that over time the life I want to live is solely with you. I've come to understand you are someone for me and not for anyone around me. You are someone to experience life with me. You are someone to lay in bed with me on days we need to rest. You are someone to watch the sunrise and sunset with. You are someone to enjoy the things I value and love so much in life and I am someone to enjoy the things you love in life.
I went back to read everything and you say things with so much love still. And like I said in my last post, I am not her to discredit how you feel and think about us. I'm not here to make you change your mind because I want you to act with how you feel but I just want to say my arms are open and I don't want to let go. All of these times I want to let you know that I refuse to run away from someone who I know I melt everytime we touch, who I sleep so peacefully with when her arms are around me, and someone I think about every waking moment.