PS. I forgot to mention some things from my journal regarding the drive I had with the producer from below. And I thought today would be a good time to pull from that entry especially because I was crying mid wedding ceremony yesterday LOL. I'll always think of you when it comes to shooting weddings and relate us to those folks. But anyways, the producer of the shot also mentioned something about how his relationship relies more on faith that it does love. He was a spiritual man, but he says there are somethings in his 18 years of marriage that you will never be able to simply trust because its based in factual evidences and experiences. And for him there was so many leaps of face where they had to believe they can make it work. Where they had to know it was them. Getting marries that quickly, having twins, and approaching his life through his business. The reason I bring it up is because I feel like I rely heavily on faith. The dont give up, dont lose hope tattoo was meant for times when there was nothing more I can do. There was nothing I could trust could make things better and it was rooted in faith that it will. And to be honest I dont ever trust that I'll be okay with how everything turned out. Im runnning so blindly on faith right now because of the pain of life without you. Lmao I cant believe I cried during a shoot. But yeah I get that what the eye can see is that it is hard for us and it seems unimaginable that it wont ever be okay for us. But the only thing that can keep me going is the faith of something for us. Something important.