There's no amount of time thatll make any of this feel right. I was journaling today and noticed how my habits hadnt quite changed as Ive grown over the years since I was in college. Well there were things I approved in for example wanting to not give up on someone no matter what and speaking about my true feelings toward someone with no regret. Which I guess is why Im here still. Its something Ive improved in, however, the other aspects I realized still needed more. And I guess all I can continue to do is hopefully continue to resolve those as I get older.
Yet I dont think thatll change anything for us. If we're being honest the idea of us meeting in the future seems more of a high dream rather than serious with you. And even if you meant it whats the chances that we are both single at 31? What if we both chose to settle for something less because of time? What if we picked "good enough"? Like thats the reality of life.
And the funny thing? 31 is during kevin and allyssas wedding. If we are being honest with ourselves Im really scared. And if we are dreaming thatd be something out of a movie.
I guess my fulfillment right now is to pull through this. To keep journaling everyday and really keep learning. I mentioned today that I really wanna cry and let a lot out. And weirdly enough I cant quite get it out right now. But I hope I can soon. Yesterday was just, woah. I cant believe its almost been a year...
lets face
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